Talk:Changing people's relationship to their environment
For the moment about 90 points, you might change the rext according to the comments by reviewers and the assessment will change then!
Peer review (Frank Bröhan)
|Individual input & risk-taking||9|
Written Comments for Author
Hello Jan, first of all I have to say that this is my first peer review und I think is not easy to evaluate the work of another person. You selected in interesting topic for your case study with the title “Changing people’s relationship to their environment”.
And now I will begin with the first paragraph “Introduction and general relationships”. At the beginning of the paragraph it is for me not really clear on which focus you want to go. But in the second part of the Introduction you get more focused, because you say that you want to devote the case study to the interrelationship of people and landscape which are associated with Beskydy Protected Landscape Area.
In the first part about Beskids you describe the “History and culture” of the region based on several Quotes from various books. I think there is a formal mistake. I think the Quote Reference “Quote. Smahel, R. Valašské muzeum v přírodě. Osveta. Martin 1976.” should be by the other References under the Text and not here in the chapter. But all in all, I think the chapter is a little bit short, but very informative and readable for the reader.
After that you give in an introduction into the “Beskydy Protected Landscape Area”, there you describe detailed the facts of the area and what factors the region offer and how it will be delimited from other regions and areas. I like how you have described the coexistence between the man and the nature over a long time before the industrialization in the 19th and 20th century.
Furthermore you describe after that the “Current situation and people´s relationship to the Beskids environment”. I think there is missing the word “the” between “and” and “people” But I am not sure if that was not intended of you. Because so for me is not clear with people you especially mean. Do you mean the people in general or the inhabitants of the area especially? But the content themselves was very clear und focused on the current situation of the area and the people’s relationship to area. In interesting key point is the quote about the difference between the comparisons of communist, post-communist and long democratic countries. I think this is especially in this region an interesting point for detailed views.
In the next chapter you present a main factor of the globalization. You show us the change of the traditional to the today’s lifestyle. This factor maybe one of the main factors for the change of the people’s relationship to their environment. And this is the topic of the case study.
The next good idea is to transform your obtained knowledge from the Beskids region to the other European regions. But I think the French part of Quebec and other Canadian territories are not in Europe. But the global dimension is the same in Beskids and in the mentioned regions like in Spain and the French regions. And you show there several political and economical factors and effects. But I think you can present in this context some more different views on the thematic to get more details and more practical relevance on the several points. Last but not least. I really liked the idea to interview several people, with several years of birth and relationships to the area. They illustrate the several views and life stories in and around the region.
Your Conclusion is a good summery on the displayed thematic in the case study. You conclude some main factors. But I think there are some more connections between the several points and I think the conclusion is a little bit to short for me. But all in all I think your case study is for the reader very attractive and I enjoyed it really to read it. The Formal features are with some exceptions all in all observed. You displayed the core problem and all in all are the elaborateness also okay. I get new input and you have showed me new issues. Thank you very much and congratulations.
General Recommendation for article:
2. Acceptable with minor modifications
--Frank 11:43, 08 March 2011 (CET)
Comments on the final version
I appreciate your case study – it is based on very “noble” thinking, and illustrates many features from the history and current situation in the Beskydy region. It is a good basis for further exploration, as you introduce readers straight into the local context. The only problem is that you speak (and write) using slightly different English from mine and it is sometimes difficult to catch what you have thought :-). Nevertheless, I will give you some advice so that you might be more efficient in your writing in the future:
- You probably cannot avoid writing longer text as you really need to illustrate the situation from diverse perspectives and not reduce it to a single problem. But still you could derive more focused conclusions – especially you could discuss examples from abroad (as you have outlined them probably for some comparison)
- From this “focus” point of view, logics of your paragraphs (and also its titles) is not very good – you might use chronological order, instead of European Regions write “Similar regions in Europe – discussion” (and put it only prior to conclusions) etc.
- You also might explain why you have used examples of some inhabitants and their life stories – and you definitely should write how did you received the information (method)
Some other points:
- I think that you are very idealistic (which is good) and from this point of view you do not quite understand what is globalization – it is mainly economical process due to which some remote regions hardly find their position in the economic system. And if you speak about development, this is also important. (Then you could point out that cultural development, or generating visions, could precede economy – see Vulkanland)
- You sometimes do not explain what are “natural” ties to the environment or “intact” relationship to it – it looks like a romantic concept but then you have to tie it to the cultural development, not social or other. And – culture could be a driving force under certain circumstances, but you have to argue for it (your arguments are still rather personal, so others might not accept them).
My impression is that your case study is rather artistic text, something between poetry and historical study, and it could be very nice if translated to good English. Minor changes or remarks see in the text (I did not checked grammar too much for the moment).
Thanks for your efforts and best regards!
jana, March 8th, 2011
It is very easy to add some pictures to your article as you can - thanks to the same Creative Commons author licence - use all images from Wikimedia Commons - there are available also some images from Beskyds - see http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Moravskoslezsk%C3%A9_Beskydy - and to add immage to your article form Commons is very easy - you have only to put [[Image:''name_of_the_image_in_Commons.jpg'']] - for smaller images you can use [[Image:xxx.jpg|thumb|.. - I had added one picture to your article - so you can edit it and look, how it is done. All details about pictures are available at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Picture_tutorial
--Admin 11:07, 15 March 2011 (CET)
Yesterday I tried to revise and correct the case study in order to satisfy the essential assessment criteria. As well as I attempted to "correlate" it with your observations and better its graphics. The case study Changing people's relationship to their environment should hopefully be finalized ´;->
I especially thank Jana and Frank for their very useful comments and great co-operation.
Jan Jelínek, March 17th, 2011