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Talk:Society and Globalization: Difference between revisions
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Talk:Society and Globalization (view source)
Revision as of 18:46, 8 January 2010
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To finish my laud I want to say that I liked that you gave good and current examples :) Your end of the paper was really good: Ending with a quotation is always a good and interesting ending I think. '''The question is not only how to live but the right way to live''' – that is a good sentence everyone should think about for himself or herself. | To finish my laud I want to say that I liked that you gave good and current examples :) Your end of the paper was really good: Ending with a quotation is always a good and interesting ending I think. '''The question is not only how to live but the right way to live''' – that is a good sentence everyone should think about for himself or herself. | ||
Now I come to the negative points I remarked. | |||
Maybe I would choose a different title for your essay. '''''Society and Globalization''''' is very vague and wide. You could change it into "The transformation process of society" or something like that. In addition I would give some more information about your topic in your introduction. You only wrote that your essay is written in the '''disciplinary perspectives of sociology''' and in the end you posed some questions. I would like to have details in the introduction what the text is about and which topic it deals with. | |||
Besides you made several spelling mistakes and some sentences are too long. In the end of those sentences I didn’t remember the beginning so I would change that. In some cases your writing style is colloquial ("so it’s a pity") that’s why I was unsure what to write in 2.7 – mostly your writing style is excellent and easy to read and understand but sometimes you make little mistakes. | |||
Another thing I must criticize is that you mentioned the Maslow’s pyramid but didn’t explain what it is. If you give an example or attach a new point you must explain it, you can’t assume that everybody knows what the Maslow’s pyramid is showing. That's why sometimes your ideas are not cleary presented. | |||
But all in all I really have to say that this is a felicitous essay with interesting ideas, excellent quotations and a very good structure. | |||
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4.1. Publish as is | 4.1. Publish as is | ||
4.2. '''Acceptable with minor modifications''' | 4.2. '''Acceptable with minor modifications''' which you can read above | ||
4.3. Might be accepted after major modifications | 4.3. Might be accepted after major modifications | ||