Students discussion:Shaping globalization: migration in times of globalization: Difference between revisions

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'''Paper title: Global-labor, Risk or Opportunity?'''
Hello Irmawan, thanks for the review, it is a good one and Fabian could certainly find the viewpoint of the “other side” of the migration process – how do the immigrants perceive it. You could have made some comments on the formal features as well – the way the text is organized now is not very logical and the reader might miss the conclusion relevant to all of the aspects mentioned in the title of the article. But – well done!
 
--[[User:Jana Dlouha|Jana Dlouha]] 09:37, 16 January 2010 (UTC)
 
'''Paper title: Shaping globalization: migration in times of globalization'''


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Reviewer´s assessment:
===Reviewer´s assessment - Irmawan Rahyadi===
 


== 1. Basic criteria ==
== 1. Basic criteria ==


1.1. Relevance of the subject to the general theme '''High'''
1.1. Relevance of the subject to the general theme '''High'''
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1.2. Coherence of the content with the title and thesis '''High'''
1.2. Coherence of the content with the title and thesis '''High'''


1.3. Quality of the content from the methodological point of view (see below) '''Medium'''
1.3. Quality of the content from the methodological point of view (see below) '''High'''
 
1.4. Quality of the text from the formal point of view (see below) '''Medium'''


1.4. Quality of the text from the formal point of view (see below) '''High'''


== 2. Summary Comments for Author ==
== 2. Summary Comments for Author ==


2.1. Contribution to theory or practice '''High'''
2.1. Contribution to theory or practice '''High'''
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2.8. Meets submission requirements (abstract, length, style, citation rules) '''Yes'''
2.8. Meets submission requirements (abstract, length, style, citation rules) '''Yes'''


== 3. Written Comments for Author ==
== 3. Written Comments for Author ==


Fabian, your text is readable and easy to follow. it is shown in an academic style. it is making a migration as if the issue is the most important one in the field study of globalization. I'm sure one of your motivation bringing up this issue is the make people aware of the existence of the issue of migration. Our topic has some intersections here and there. That is probably one of the reasons Jana put us together as a reviewer to one another in the first place so we can look at our review in the closer look. One other thing I like about your text is that it is a focused and pinpointed text. In my opinion, since it is focused on a particular aspect of the migration, you could get deeper in the field of high skill migrant scope.


Hi Irmawan, at first: It was very interesting to read your text, because it was googreadable and easy to understand- good essay. There are only a few comments which I want say to your essay. In the formal point of view: I’m not sure if your citation style is correct. I thought we should also make information of the book page from where you have your articles. Also, you took the big theme of global labor very precise in your relative short essay. The good structure of your essay let me recognize a red thread. I think that your title is one hundred percent the content of your essay. Once again your resource list, it is good that you work with so many resources, but in your resource list, add the publishing house as well and end with a full stop. I like the style you write your essay, it is easy to read and you have a big content of vocabulary.
One structural note in the format of your text is that probably is better looking when the abstract part is moved to the first part of the text. I would also like to comment on your content. Since you mention in the abstract that diaspora has managed to transfer money or know-how to their original country. You could also touch more on some percentage of immigrants who have educated in the developed country and settle as an immigrant as soon as they graduate as you mentioned in your first part of the content. Do you still considered them a part of diasporas though?  Cause in my understanding they are not localized since they have their education and some life experiences in the developed country. This particular thing probably you could follow up.
Comments on the content of your essay
Global labor is one of the biggest themes which you can write about in part of globalization. My theme: Shaping globalization: migration in times of globalization is part of your theme of global labor. You use a logical structure in your text which let the reader realize your essay and its key points very fast. I think you have shown very good the risk of global labor out of different point of views, a good idea to put yourself in the situation of these human beings. You gave us many examples for the risks. But in my point of view there are also many chances for the people on the global labor market. When you read my essay you will see. When you could find also 2 or 3 more opportunities for your essay? Because the global labor is also a big chance for developing countries. Your conclusion is also very good you summarize your essay shortly and you suggest a discussion with interesting statements. You give solution approaches which are very interesting and give the essay a very interesting end.
Overall a god work which only need some little changes for being very good.


In terms of content once again, I found it interesting when you say “competition” as participation of some developed countries to gain the share of high-valued immigrant. The nature of competition should be exploring and applying the highest potential possible to gain the target. On the contrary you said that their attempts are half-hearted. When you are finalizing your text probably you could make a deeper exploration on the reference by Robin Cohen as your main source of the text. I feel that if you do that it will enrich the point that you have made successfully already.


One of your links in the reference section is broken somehow. Probably you could check it again. I have tried a couple of times. The one from Anna Lee Saxenian is the broken one.


== 4. General Recommendation for articles (highlight one option): ==
== 4. General Recommendation for articles (highlight one option): ==




4.1. Publish as is
'''4.1. Publish as is'''


'''4.2. Acceptable with minor modifications'''
4.2. Acceptable with minor modifications


4.3. Might be accepted after major modifications
4.3. Might be accepted after major modifications
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4.4.3. Quality of presentation is poor
4.4.3. Quality of presentation is poor
Rahyadi 00:36, 12 January 2010
== Assessment from January 4th - Jana Dlouhá==
Remarks:
Fabian, you might explain reasons of migration in more depth, then provide some overview of types of migration, and only then possibly restrict the theme on the “pull factors”. Or please change the title so that everybody knows from the beginning that you are writing about “brain drain”, not e.g. environmental migration.
You could also explicitly write about reasons and consequences of the attraction of highly qualified staff to certain countries or destinations – is the technological progress real force of development, is it a power game and why is it advantageous to be a winner in this technical contest? And what does it mean to be a looser? What about those countries that should logically fail in a competition? And is this a chance for talented people all over the world? These questions (and answers) would stress the context of globalisation.
Jana Dlouha
== Assessment from December 8th ==
Fabian, you work really well in this stage! There are some imperfections in your text but it is on the right path now. It is important that you work independently now although you should improve your English sometimes wink. The theme is OK, real globalization problem!
The text should be little bit longer and you should have list of references already, but never mind. Honestly, I supposed that you have been inspired by the work of your colleagues in the last stage, but now i am happy with your progress!
--[[User:Jana Dlouha|Jana Dlouha]] 14:31, 14 January 2010 (UTC)

Latest revision as of 22:26, 30 August 2017

Hello Irmawan, thanks for the review, it is a good one and Fabian could certainly find the viewpoint of the “other side” of the migration process – how do the immigrants perceive it. You could have made some comments on the formal features as well – the way the text is organized now is not very logical and the reader might miss the conclusion relevant to all of the aspects mentioned in the title of the article. But – well done!

--Jana Dlouha 09:37, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

Paper title: Shaping globalization: migration in times of globalization

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Reviewer´s assessment - Irmawan Rahyadi

1. Basic criteria

1.1. Relevance of the subject to the general theme High

1.2. Coherence of the content with the title and thesis High

1.3. Quality of the content from the methodological point of view (see below) High

1.4. Quality of the text from the formal point of view (see below) High

2. Summary Comments for Author

2.1. Contribution to theory or practice High

2.2. Originality of the paper High

2.3. Adequate references to prior and related works by other authors High

2.4. Accurate information Yes

2.5. Current information Yes

2.6. Methodology Yes

2.7. Writing style is generally Readable

2.7.1. Paper is logically organised Yes

2.7.2. Ideas are clearly presented Yes

2.8. Meets submission requirements (abstract, length, style, citation rules) Yes

3. Written Comments for Author

Fabian, your text is readable and easy to follow. it is shown in an academic style. it is making a migration as if the issue is the most important one in the field study of globalization. I'm sure one of your motivation bringing up this issue is the make people aware of the existence of the issue of migration. Our topic has some intersections here and there. That is probably one of the reasons Jana put us together as a reviewer to one another in the first place so we can look at our review in the closer look. One other thing I like about your text is that it is a focused and pinpointed text. In my opinion, since it is focused on a particular aspect of the migration, you could get deeper in the field of high skill migrant scope.

One structural note in the format of your text is that probably is better looking when the abstract part is moved to the first part of the text. I would also like to comment on your content. Since you mention in the abstract that diaspora has managed to transfer money or know-how to their original country. You could also touch more on some percentage of immigrants who have educated in the developed country and settle as an immigrant as soon as they graduate as you mentioned in your first part of the content. Do you still considered them a part of diasporas though? Cause in my understanding they are not localized since they have their education and some life experiences in the developed country. This particular thing probably you could follow up.

In terms of content once again, I found it interesting when you say “competition” as participation of some developed countries to gain the share of high-valued immigrant. The nature of competition should be exploring and applying the highest potential possible to gain the target. On the contrary you said that their attempts are half-hearted. When you are finalizing your text probably you could make a deeper exploration on the reference by Robin Cohen as your main source of the text. I feel that if you do that it will enrich the point that you have made successfully already.

One of your links in the reference section is broken somehow. Probably you could check it again. I have tried a couple of times. The one from Anna Lee Saxenian is the broken one.

4. General Recommendation for articles (highlight one option):

4.1. Publish as is

4.2. Acceptable with minor modifications

4.3. Might be accepted after major modifications

4.4. Unacceptable (select following option):

4.4.1. Not appropriate for the content/theme of the Course

4.4.2. Technically deficient

4.4.3. Quality of presentation is poor

Rahyadi 00:36, 12 January 2010

Assessment from January 4th - Jana Dlouhá

Remarks:

Fabian, you might explain reasons of migration in more depth, then provide some overview of types of migration, and only then possibly restrict the theme on the “pull factors”. Or please change the title so that everybody knows from the beginning that you are writing about “brain drain”, not e.g. environmental migration.

You could also explicitly write about reasons and consequences of the attraction of highly qualified staff to certain countries or destinations – is the technological progress real force of development, is it a power game and why is it advantageous to be a winner in this technical contest? And what does it mean to be a looser? What about those countries that should logically fail in a competition? And is this a chance for talented people all over the world? These questions (and answers) would stress the context of globalisation.

Jana Dlouha

Assessment from December 8th

Fabian, you work really well in this stage! There are some imperfections in your text but it is on the right path now. It is important that you work independently now although you should improve your English sometimes wink. The theme is OK, real globalization problem!

The text should be little bit longer and you should have list of references already, but never mind. Honestly, I supposed that you have been inspired by the work of your colleagues in the last stage, but now i am happy with your progress!

--Jana Dlouha 14:31, 14 January 2010 (UTC)