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Talk:Loss of biodiversity - caused and solved by globalisation?: Difference between revisions

Talk:Loss of biodiversity - caused and solved by globalisation? (view source)

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Try to avoid too much hesitation like: "globalization is an abstract, not perfectly defined phenomenon you cannot say every global environmental problem is inevitable directly caused by globalization without a sound argumentation" - there are at least 5 words or phrases expressing your uncertainty.
On the other hand critical discussion of the theme from different points of view is OK.
The logic is clear: global economy -> global market -> global consumption of remote goods -> extraction of resources including biological -> transport and infrastructure -> further depletion
Thus, you could mention that even if globalization is not direct reason for biodiverzity loss, the consequences of the loss do have real impact on global environment and also policy. In fact, you have not mentioned risks related to this issue so far!
If discussiong economic value of biodiverzity you cannot avoid Millennium Assessment Reports, http://www.millenniumassessment.org/en/index.aspx
--[[User:Jana Dlouha|Jana Dlouha]] 17:08, 7 December 2009 (UTC)
=Peer-Review=
=Peer-Review=


Paper title: Loss of Biodiversity- caused and solved by Globalization?
Paper title: Loss of Biodiversity- caused and solved by Globalization?


==1. Basic criteria==  
==1. Basic criteria==  
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*Although I really like reading your text, it sometimes becomes obvious, that you had some problems in regards to the definition terms as to the final goal, which the essay is supposed to aim for. Sometimes it seems that you are unsure about your own opinion. I think what you are writing in your essay is indubitably true. So you should be more confident about what you are saying, since it is very true. Also for me, a leitmotif is missing. I had or still have my problems with that, too. Since you've got everything figured out in your mind, everything seems to be so obvious for oneself. Try to read your essay once again from a strangers point of view. Maybe you could lead over the different subchapters, that would make it easier to read.  
*Although I really like reading your text, it sometimes becomes obvious, that you had some problems in regards to the definition terms as to the final goal, which the essay is supposed to aim for. Sometimes it seems that you are unsure about your own opinion. I think what you are writing in your essay is indubitably true. So you should be more confident about what you are saying, since it is very true. Also for me, a leitmotif is missing. I had or still have my problems with that, too. Since you've got everything figured out in your mind, everything seems to be so obvious for oneself. Try to read your essay once again from a strangers point of view. Maybe you could lead over the different subchapters, that would make it easier to read.  
*One minor edit: since the Copenhagen Conference is history by now, you might want to refer to it as an example of how hard international agreements are to achieve. It might be interesting for you to know (just as a additional information) that someone from the university of Lüneburg was there and she was so aghast not only by the organisation but of course also by the results. We should not underestimate the conflict potential with which the topic of biodiversity comes along. I do like your attempt to refer to the lastest news, though!
*One minor edit: since the Copenhagen Conference is history by now, you might want to refer to it as an example of how hard international agreements are to achieve. It might be interesting for you to know (just as a additional information) that someone from the university of Lüneburg was there and she was so aghast not only by the organisation but of course also by the results. We should not underestimate the conflict potential with which the topic of biodiversity comes along. I do like your attempt to refer to the lastest news, though!
*There are only some content ideas I want to share with you - all in all, you seem to have done a fabulous job in research! Since this is a topic of the utmost importance, I think you should stress the importance in your essay. So, why is it so important to maintain the biodiversity? What would in case of an extreme loss of biodiversity be the consequences for every single one of us? I personally think, that these essays we are developing during this course are supposed to make us think and revise our own actions. Maybe I am wrong, but for me these essays should fulfil this attribute...
*There are only some content ideas I want to share with you - all in all, you seem to have done a fabulous job in research! Since this is a topic of the utmost importance, I think you should stress the importance in your essay. So, why is it so important to maintain the biodiversity? What would in case of an extreme loss of biodiversity be the consequences for every single one of us? I personally think, that these essays we are developing during this course are supposed to make us think and revise our own actions. Maybe I am wrong, but for me these essays should fulfil this attribute...
*Finally, I would like to add the fact, that I really love the idea of upgrading the reference list by further information. It makes you feel less lost when attempting to get more into the topic. You should definitely keep that!
*Finally, I would like to add the fact, that I really love the idea of upgrading the reference list by further information. It makes you feel less lost when attempting to get more into the topic. You should definitely keep that!


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4.4.3. Quality of presentation is poor  
4.4.3. Quality of presentation is poor  
--[[User:Wehling|Wehling]] 19:48, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
--[[User:Wehling|Wehling]] 19:48, 8 January 2010 (UTC)
== Assessment from January 4th ==
Remarks:
Dear Jule your article is well structured, logical, it is very extensive etc., and moreover you work with resources is very good – there is limited space to solve such a huge problem you have selected!
The relationship of biodiversity with globalisation is obviously expressed by the term “global public goods”. The globalisation is rooted in an economical field and so the value of biodiversity which is not tradable should be expressed this way. This would also enable you to operationalize the concept of biodiversity, find its most important functions, collisions with economical forces on global level, and identify the measures to be taken to protect it.
In this respect, you did not mention role of international organizations like UNEP or IUCN. I think the write about WEO is not possible without analysis of deficiencies of these institutions (and it is not necessary in this course)...
--[[User:Jana Dlouha|Jana Dlouha]] 14:23, 14 January 2010 (UTC)
== Assessment from December 8th ==
Try to avoid too much hesitation like: "globalization is an abstract, not perfectly defined phenomenon you cannot say every global environmental problem is inevitable directly caused by globalization without a sound argumentation" - there are at least 5 words or phrases expressing your uncertainty.
On the other hand critical discussion of the theme from different points of view is OK.
The logic is clear: global economy -> global market -> global consumption of remote goods -> extraction of resources including biological -> transport and infrastructure -> further depletion
Thus, you could mention that even if globalization is not direct reason for biodiverzity loss, the consequences of the loss do have real impact on global environment and also policy. In fact, you have not mentioned risks related to this issue so far!
If discussiong economic value of biodiverzity you cannot avoid Millennium Assessment Reports, http://www.millenniumassessment.org/en/index.aspx
--[[User:Jana Dlouha|Jana Dlouha]] 17:08, 7 December 2009 (UTC)
Jana Dlouha
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